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What Can You Do about a Loved One Who Is Less than Happy about Having a Caregiver?

Admin • March 8, 2022

Some elderly loved ones are less happy about needing some extra help than you thought they would be. When all you want to do is help your loved one, but you’re getting a lot of negativity back, it can be difficult to function.

Understand Her Anger

Even if it’s difficult for you to deal with her anger, you may be able to understand it a bit. Your loved one’s life is changing and she’s losing a great deal of her independence. That kind of frustration can build up and lead her to take it out on the people who are closest to her. That doesn’t make it easy to accept, by any means, but it gives you a toehold for feeling empathy for your loved one.

Keep Her Safety in Mind

Above all else, your loved one’s safety is the most important part of caring for her. If you can keep your focus on your loved one’s safety, you can work around your loved one’s displeasure. Explain to your loved one that you’re concerned for her and that you only want to make sure that she’s safe.

Don’t Take it Personally

It’s easy to say, but you can’t take your loved one’s attitude about your help personally. Your loved one isn’t truly angry at you, but she’s more angry with the situation she’s in. If you can separate her actions and what she says from your relationship, things will be much easier for you to manage. It can help if you take some time away now and again. Work with senior care providers or other family members to take over for you when you’re taking a break.

Find a Solution that Works for Both of You

You may feel that your loved one needs to move in with you but she feels that she should stay in her own home. In such a situation, you’re going to have to find a compromise that works for both of you. For example, you might agree that your loved one stays at home, but she needs to agree to having senior care providers visiting every day. That helps her to keep what she wants, but also allows you to have a say, too.

As your loved one’s health changes, she may develop different views about having help.

If you or an aging loved one are considering senior care in Chappaqua, NY, contact Star One Home Care and Medical Staffing at 718-733-2222 or 914-362-0899. Call today!

Patricia Coffie, RN, BSN, MFA

Director of Client Services at Star One Home Care


Patricia Coffie, RN, BSN, MFA is Director of Client Services & Director of Phoenix Nurse Aide Training Center. Before assuming the post in 2012, Patricia was the Director or Nursing & Service Delivery at WRC for 3 years where she was the strategic lead for nursing and services to members.


Patricia started her nursing career 19 years ago at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center and research institution in New York City, and since then has gained experience in Adult Intensive Care Units (ICU) , Pediatric Care (PICU ), Operating Room (OR) , mental health and community settings. She later moved into director of nursing roles, where she obtained extensive experience in leading and developing the nursing profession. She also pioneered good partnership working with other health care organizations, as well as social services, and the wider community.

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